Fall Raid Recruiting!

Are you one of those folks who can discuss the differences between a hyperdrive a warp drive? Can you quote My Fair Lady, Fight Club, Katy Perry, and Hamlet? Are you an expert in the finer points of quantum mechanics and the sublime art of jousting? Does your taste in beer surpass that of everyone else in your appropriate political boundary?

If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then we at The Endless of Khadgar (U.S. EST) believe you are a member of a select group of humanity, and we would like to have an intellectual jaunt or several with you. We’d also like to tell you more about our guild, if you have a few spare moments.

Like you, we can answer yes to the above questions, and more besides. I, personally, favor warp drives, while Dannek prefers the hyper variety. Fiddlefaddle spouts Hamlet and quaffs a pint of Guinness in three seconds (it’s true, there is a video). While it’s been some time since we’ve had a discussion on jousting, I know every one of us solves quantum mechanical equations in our heads on our lunch breaks.

We’d like to invite you to bring your own specialties (we do not approve of the word “quirks”) to the mix. We are a group of twenty- to thirty-somethings spread across the United States (and that French province to the north) who have banded together for a mission: [i]To enjoy the company of friends and like-minded folk while raiding[/i]. In today’s terms, one might call us a casual raiding guild, but we prefer a moniker somewhere between that and hardcore. Our raids occur on scheduled days, we know what we’re doing in a raid zone, and we bring quality beer when we raid. This smacks of commitment, to our minds. The original members of our guild have been playing this game for over three years, many since release. We’ve de-assed Nefarian back when that was a challenge. Knodarr once soloed C’thun. (Not really, the soloing was part of theorized solution to a quantum mechanical equation he was solving.) Most of us have been playing together for the majority of our time in this game.

We all have existences outside of these lands, however. (That whole Real Life thing.) We are engineers, IT gurus, politicians, foley artists, Braille facilitators, meteorologists, bikers, mothers, fathers, and Canadians. We perfectly understand the need to balance time spent in the game with time spent taking care of reality. We care more about people than purple. Take this summer, for instance: we have progeny being allowed to stay up late(r than I was ever allowed when I was little), people are taking vacations and other wasteful extravagances, Canadians are … doing something suspicious, I’m sure. All of this, because (as we like to say) RL > WoW, has lead us to take a siesta from raids for a couple months. We’re taking time off and (sun-)bathing, swimming, and other activities which involve being Out-Of-Doors. But, we are not losing sight of what lies ahead. On or about the First of September, we will be hitting the autumnal raid season with a loud explosion (rather than with a bang, which denotes the use of firearms; while I myself approve of them, Nabakov considers them a crutch for those who do not know Krav Maga).

To this end (an explosion of sufficient decibel levels, that is), we would like to invite you to polka on into our beer tent and hoist a mug with us. We will still be running in-guild pick-up raids on the weekends, as well as frequent heroics to gear up some of our newer level 80s, but why, you might ask, would you join a "raiding guild" when we are not "raiding"? Well, to help us unravel the mysteries of string theory, mainly, and also to get to know us, in preparation for the time when we shall sally forth, an army comprised of every "puke-ugly bad-ass on the planet...ready to open a Wal-Mart that only sells ball-stomp.*" We enjoy making new friends, and if you're still reading this thread then we'll wager that (A) we might like you, and (B) you just might like us, too.

What sorts of folk are we accepting, asks ye. We are open to taking just about every class, from cat druids to arcane mages to BM hunters to gnomes. We are, admittedly, a bit top-heavy on melee DPS, and could use a few of the standoffish DPS types, but we're more interested in the person behind the purple, so to speak. Head on over to our website, if you're interested (http://endless-khadgar.org), and drop us an application. That's our first line of defense against dubious persons of French origin, but also the initial contact we shall have with you. We hope to see you there!

Thank you for your time, ladies and gentlemens. I'm off to eat another Octostacker (yes, there are photos) and drink Ommegang Three Philosophers.

P.S. Contrary to popular opinion, Knodarr wrote not a whit of this post. It's all me, baby.
P.P.S. Furtherily contrary to popular opinion, no thesauri were employed in the writing of this post.

* If you already knew who wrote this before you Googled it, then Prost to you.